Nine Year Anniversary

Nine years ago now, not long married and on the 2nd December 2008, They first came.

As I sat at the dinner table, I was taken by a vision, tears streamed down my face as I was held, gripped, by it.

They said that I am a blessed one and too important to lose. They asked if I knew what that meant. Unfortunately, I did. Its full implication and meaning is even now working out. They said that no matter what it took, I should stay alive. They would send watchers to look after me.

And so it began. The following spring two crows nested above our back door as I changed and re-membered. For the next few years I was tested to the very brink and beyond.

Later they told me that I had chosen to incarnate blind to all of my knowledge as an experiment both to see how much I could withstand and to ascertain how people would react to me. They told me of my five most recent incarnations. They said that I had once been a very close disciple of Buddha.

They said that when I first came into being all those millions of years ago, They knew that I would always live like this; a rare and beautiful thing.

They say that this is my very last incarnation. I will not be born again, here on earth.

What does one do with stuff like this? Visit the psychiatrist? I can prove none of the above.

Over the last nine years, there have been more than a few challenges amongst them the cancer. I still face the unanswered question; “What to do with the rest of this earthly sojourn?”

There are feelings, and these say that here in the UK, I am blocked and cornered, I can do nothing beyond teaching A level science. Everything else I try hits a wall, sooner or later. The doors are closed and held fast. Elsewhere, people are a little more open. It is to do with the UK mind-set and its desire for power. I know, at one level, that it is not only my karma at work here and that there are karmic implications way beyond my own. Those implications are far-reaching. Yet for whatever reason I have not yet been able to get out of Dodge. Just when it looks like it might happen, something gets in the way. Maybe I am supposed to stay a while longer.

Because I am not materially oriented, I cannot materialise anything. This is the explanation I have for now.

As the year draws to a close I have to figure out what to do with my time. I need to make some decisions…