Accepting Change

Most things in the universe, even on a human timescale are mutable and subject to change and that includes the people we know or think we know. It can be very hard to accept that people change especially if they do so markedly. We may have had ideas about what they were meant to do and how they were meant to fit into our lives, like Śuddhodana did {see previous}. But those were our ideas and not necessarily consistent with how things turned out. Nevertheless, we still try to shoe-horn them back into the box of our thinking and our suppositions, the facts may not sit well. Despite all our plans and schemes, the universe may have plans that differ from our own. We are left with a question as to what to do. How do we live with a situation which differs from how we think it ought to be? Unless we can accept the changes out comes the shoe-horn. Ought is in friction with is and it can jar and grate. This ought-mind causes much suffering, is-mind less so. In order to accept change we need to reconcile ought-mind with is-mind. And should-mind can be even worse, should-mind is causal of much suffering.

If we cannot accept change, we can get stuck. We may prefer not to accept, rather deny. We may go la-la-la-la-la not listening, or we may bury our heads in the sand. There are many changes we do not want to see, some good, some bad. But when the familiar ceases to be the familiar, it does not belong to our sense of world-ordering. Many find this unsettling. Our sense of control is threatened, and life has not proven entirely susceptible to our management or micro-management of it. We may yearn for the good old days when everything was at it is supposed and meant to be.

As an exercise:

Can I recognise the differences in ought-mind, should-mind and is-mind?

Do I have difficulty accepting change?