In our modern world we expect people to be after something, to be making demands. When we have a demand, we can negotiate and argue. Where there isn’t a demand or even a request, we are nonplussed.
A long time ago, someone who was trying to be clever said that I was a part of the equation. It was his equation and not mine, so I cancelled one of his variables for him, me. I took my self out of his equation. I have been simplifying equations ever since.
This tendency not to make demands, or otherwise assert some ambition, is beyond belief for so many. It is a does not compute. To ask for little or nothing, does not sit well in the western mind. And if you give, people will take and take again, until there is no blood left. And then the time comes to cancel a variable.
If your self and its residual desires is not there, it is lacking, it is selfless. There is nothing to fight with or against, simply an absence of self. To take self out of an equation is at first difficult, after that it gets easier. One practises selflessness and in time one learns it and its deeper implications.
If you are selfless you become suspect and this makes tongues wag in the breeze. Those not yet selfless and keen on attention, often clamour for a worm of gossip.
Selflessness is one of the keys to freedom.