Losing Control

I awoke this morning with the word “pathetic” going around in my head. If the “what’s the sketch with this guy” motif is operational then it is more than a little pathetic. It isn’t very grown up and adult. It certainly isn’t a masculine way of approaching things.

Anyway, I digress slightly. One of the things that people fear most is losing control, either of themselves or over other people. Certain types simply must have some leverage, some bargaining chips or something they can use to manipulate others. When they no longer have these, they have somehow lost control of the situation. These levers can be money, fame, reputation, information, a child, or the supply of something, like sex or drugs, or food. They are afraid to stand devoid of levers and simply interact as a human being. Such people are obsessed with control. They can over egg the control to such a point that it goes pear shaped. Too much manipulation can have unpredictable results. The more one tries to control a situation the more out of control it can become. This leads to ever greater attempts at control, because of fear of losing control, which can make things even worse.

This obsession with control is a shortcoming and is a manifestation of the dark jewel fear. It is very common, but the degree varies. Some are more controlling than others.

Losing control or rather letting go of the desire to control or micro-manage every aspect of life, is liberating. It is so much more relaxing.

“The greatest act of the warrior is to shift from control to abandon.”

If you have abandoned, you can’t be controlled which is the flip side. In stopping trying to control others and life, you are no longer controlled either. This doesn’t mean you become a bomb wielding anarchist, it means that you go much more with the flow and stop meddling so much in the lives of others. It is free and easy. If someone wants to see you and you them, you just hang and chill. One does not try to cram them artificially in the diary or schedule them otherwise. When the time is right, it happens.

This over-meddling in the lives of others is unhealthy. If one wants to know what another being wants or seeks, one asks. But there is a fear of asking, because you may not like the answer. People prefer their suppositions, often. It is very strange.

Having cued this up:

Do I fear losing control?

If so, why?

Am I prone to meddling in the lives of others or in other words am I a tad manipulative?

Is this, in the long-term, a sensible approach to life?