Last night I was watching a George Carlin sketch on You Tube, it was about all the stupid things we say without thinking about them. One of his targets was; “It’s always the quiet ones that you have got to watch”. Obviously, we are all proto-axe-wielding-maniac-mass-killers who are not popular with the neighbours. It is always reported thus on the news. Many popular people have done heinous things, though somehow this isn’t mentioned, their popularity. Believe it or not on a number of occasions people have actually said this shit to me, “it’s always the quiet ones that you have got to watch”, with a wink implied or actual, where I am “the quiet one”. Apart from thinking “what a wanker”, what can one do? Well one can remain silent. On rugby tour I stayed up late in the bar on the ferry chatting to some young ladies with my poor French. We were still talking when the others surfaced. They imagined many things, when nothing had in fact happened. “It’s always the quiet ones that you have got to watch”, wink wink, nudge nudge, one said to me. As it happens, I got invited to a Christian group in France as a result of our philosophical discussions. Later on that tour, I escorted the not-so-quiet-ones out of a possible stabbing by a pimp, away from the gendarmes and back to the hotel. It wasn’t me the proto-axe-wielding-maniac-mass-killer who was in danger of causing trouble.
There is a thing whereby people assume that silence is agreement. Now we proto-axe-wielding-maniac-mass-killers do not always feel the need to argue the toss. We may disagree and never voice our disagreement, we are definitely not “on board”, most often we are waiting for the noise to stop. I can think of many times where people have gone away convinced that I was “on board” when I have been anything but. All I have done is increased their Trip Advisor wanker star rating in my mind. They are on their own trip and good luck to them. I do not wish to travel with them. In fact, this has led to a number of misconceptions down the years, some of which have caused big problems.
I am getting around to the subject of control. People like to control certain situations and people. I am not quite sure why, but this is my observation. So, they try to get everyone “on board” or some such thing. They may talk at you, about you and all that kind of shit. They may assume that they have you under control and have your agreement. The may think that they have the situation under control and that they have a grip on what is going on. Way back when I did a start-up, the VCs insisted on various control clauses in the legal documentation. Right then their Trip Advisor star rating started going up and I was losing interest from the get go. I was offended, back then. It was a de-motivating thing for me. They could watch me all they liked, but I can be poker faced. Unimpressed, I was.
The phrase; “It’s always the quiet ones that you have got to watch” is wrong. It should read, “It’s always the quiet ones that you have got to ask.”
That is unless you are a skilled empath or telepath, which most of us aren’t.