Although I have mentioned the hippie vibe in this blog, I am a pretty focussed being. I would say that when it comes to focus, I am at the top end. Pretty much everything I do has some purpose to it, though this is not always obvious externally. And it is my experience that people can find this sense of focus alarming. I try not to waste time. If something is a no go I tend not to pursue it. I decide early, sometimes too early. I know that I am living on borrowed time and because of this I am not overly keen on fannying about. I never have been. I do not have a master’s degree in the procrastinatory arts.
Over the years this part of my nature has made me unpopular with some who prefer endless discussion and it has surprised others by its rapidity. There is some pressure to decide and act emanating from me. And despite all my meditation it can still come across as impatience. It isn’t really impatience, but a sense of how valuable time is. This is a major focus in my life, time. I don’t like wasting it.
People can be very complacent when it comes to time. They put stuff off and engage in multiple displacement activities. Deep down we all have at least some inkling as to what we need to be doing, but because we don’t like it we engage in escapisms. The mañana attitude is a very complacent one and soon enough we run out of tomorrows. This leads to an incredible degree of dissipation in life, because there are some things which have a time window. When that window is missed, it cannot be. The possibility, the opportunity has passed, forever. Oh well, shit happens…nevermind.
Having cued this up:
If there is a scale ranging from complacency to focus, where would I find myself?
Would I be towards one end or somewhere in the middle?