Those Glimpses of Our True Nature

From time to time we all get glimpses of our true nature and that can shock us, horrify us even. This is partly because we do not, as yet, know ourselves well. We pretend. We pretend to be socially well adapted beings, and for sensible reasons, we supress our natures. We dress our behaviours. Underneath, in each of us is something more primordial, guttural even, which we rarely show. It is not sugar and spice and all things nice. And much of this is to do with our relationship with and to power. To admit that we like to have minions, is not so palatable, for example. To admit that we want to be dominated and have a master, is not so easy. But people are, to my eyes, a bit on the kinky side.  And that may be due to past life experience.

I know that a part of my nature is perhaps violent. But I know this and have it, under control. Because I have looked at it. I did not shy away. I do not seek power over, even if people may want me to do this. There are those who do want to be dominated. Much as they may have trouble with such an admission. We are more strange than we imagine ourselves to be. And we all play shit loads of games.

To use myself as an example. I would like to be kind, compassionate and motivating, I would like to be able to interact in a nuanced way. But people like power and respect power, they may wish to be contained and have status ordering, even enforcing. I cannot express my true nature because people expect me to act in this power, rank and status, bullshit arena. There is an expectation of power politics and bloody league table ranking.

I like to consider myself something of an Aquarian, I may be wrong in my assessment. But if really grates with me, this status obsession. We are each of us, in our vehicle our body, billion-year-old carbon. We have this in common. So why does this mantra of “better than” and its cousin “worse than” have such power?

I don’t know but it may be that we are all way more nasty than we pertain. I have looked and by and large transmuted this.

If we cannot come to terms with and accept our true natures, we must pretend. We are unreal. Our true nature is not single faceted and to get to know each aspect takes time. I could say that my true nature is Buddha nature, but that would be trite and inaccurate. Nobody can define Buddha nature!

What I can say is that slowly, I am waking up to my true natures, all of them. Which we might say is my potential. But that is not what I am getting at here:

Having cued this up:

Have I ever had a glimpse of my true nature(s)?

Was I astounded?

Or, did I pretend that I had not seen?

Does the thought of looking at my true nature(s) engender in me the sudden need to shit big bricks?