Unwanted Behaviours and Entitlement

It is impossible to live in this world and not come across people doing things which we would prefer that they didn’t do. There are unwanted behaviours. Some of these are minor others less so. I have a pet peeve and that is when people don’t stick to their side of the road when going around a corner on a particular lane near here. The road is wide enough and there is even a marked line, yet people stray across this line, partially because they are going too fast to corner well. As a result of this I have had a number of near misses and have had to take evasive action. As far as I can tell the other driver has been oblivious in each case. It is not a big thing and probably the worse thing that will happen is a clash of wing mirrors. This is a very low-level example of unwanted behaviours. My other peeve is the endless request for electronic surveys following on-line purchases. This almost makes me stop wanting to buy.

But there are many others which arise out of our sense of entitlement. We are thoroughly entitled to do X and it never occurs that X might be unwanted by the person we inflict X on. There has been a lot in the media about unwanted sexual attention, and this attention has gone all the way to actual violation under medication. The whole subject of consent is now much more of a hot topic. It might make things something of a minefield.

We all inflict ourselves on other beings. What we imagine to be wanted could be unwanted and strangely enough, vice versa. We may desperately want someone to do something, but they imagine it to be unwanted, so don’t do it.

“Do I have your permission to ask you out on a date?”

“Yes”

“Would you like to go out on a date with me?

“No.”

The whole situation can get ridiculous. The inquirer has checked but ended up getting an unwanted result.

If we lack situational awareness we can get the wrong end of the stick. It is this situational awareness that helps us navigate the grey areas in life.

Some areas are not so grey but people do them anyway. I doubt that any person really believes that it OK to rub their cock up against someone on the tube train, but people do this. This is a middle level and disturbing unwanted behaviour. It can cause trauma. In the moment, the cock rubber feels utterly entitled and justified about getting a cheap thrill. For whatever reason he deems that he has the right to ruin someone’s day and possibly a fair chunk of their life.

Spreading gossip can also ruin someone’s life. We may feel utterly entitled to poke our nose into someone else’s business. Being a stalker can seem like fun and it is possible to feel entitled and empowered so to do. The stalker might imagine that the stalkee secretly wants to be stalked. We might imagine someone is a strategic target and thereby gather intelligence on them. We may even imagine that they would be flattered by our attentions. The human mind is capable of justifying a whole bunch of shit to itself, when it wants to do something and feels entitled so to do.

Having cued this up:

Have I ever behaved in an unwanted way towards another being and imagined that they wanted me to do this?

Have I ever known that someone did not want me to do something but done it anyway because I felt entitled so to do?

Is it OK to inflict my will?