My Least Favourite Life

The station pulls away from the train
The blue pulls away from the sky
The whisper of two broken wings
May be they’re yours, maybe they’re mine
This is my least favorite life
The one where I am out of my mind
The one where you are just out of reach
The one where I stay and you fly

I’m wandering in the shade
And the rustle of fallen leaves
A bird on the edge of the blade
Lost now forever, my love, in a sweet memory

What We Dream In

That which occurs in our lives we have, in one way or another, intended. We have dreamed it in or called it forth. It is not that we kneel and pray or ask for something, it is through our attitude and actions that we call forth. The universe watches, it observes us and then sends us that which we need. It may not be what we want or like, but the universe wants us to learn and evolve, so it cooperates with us. It may send us pleasant things, or it may send us nightmare scenarios. This is another way of speaking about cause and effect or karma. If we have a control-freak nature it may send us situations totally out of our control so that we can learn to ease off on the reigns a little. If we are arrogant it may send us situations which teach us humility. That which we dream in may indeed seem nightmarish for us.

We manifest things and situations in our lives. We can manifest shed loads of dramas, bucketsful of intrigue or we can manifest simplicity. If we keep doing the same thing over the universe may have to switch the lessons from light and easy to hard and severe. It is up to us in so many ways, if we are eager to learn the universe gives us a light touch, if we are not so eager it can whack us and whack us hard.

Nearly always the lessons the universe offers are in proportion to need and fit for purpose. We may not however see the lesson and assume that the bastard universe is out to get us. But should we look we can always find something to learn. If we feel ourselves victim, then the universe may sense our need to feel further victimised and send us plenty to feel sorry for ourselves about. It will only stop when we have had enough of that draught, we have drunk our fill. It is up to us to change our attitude and thus change the contents of that which we dream in or call forth.

We can change the nature of the waking dream, just as we can in dreams at night.

Having cued this up:

What am I manifesting now and around now?

Is it a pleasant dream?

Or is it nightmarish?

Have I ever been whacked by the universe?

If I took responsibility for the contents of my dream might I be able to change them?

Fate and Dramatizations of the Soul

I’ll make a statement here to kick off:

It could be that you are pursuing a life that is out of touch with your fate. You might be pursuing a curriculum which has little to do with why you incarnated this time, and this may be why life isn’t working for you as well as it might. It seems to be a constant struggle and you feel out of sorts.

When we make some decisions about what to do with our lives, those decisions are rarely free of outside influence. Parental direction and social conditioning tends to point us in one direction. There is the joke about immigrant Indians either being doctors, lawyers or pharmacists. Here societal and parental “guidance” steers in a particular direction. Being sensible we may then train up and pursue a career which we then act out as a template for life ongoing. Whilst it is true that we have to earn a living, how we earn it may be little or nothing to do with our fate. The big, important part, may be missing. We could say that this is the icing on the cake, that which finishes a life and makes it all hang together. If we adopt too narrow a focus, that je ne sais quoi which makes life more complete, is missing.

To give an example, back when I was in pastoral care, I advised many student “scientists” who had dropped their music, because studying was hard, to pick up that instrument again. The feedback I got was that this had worked remarkably well in some cases. Even though they devoted some time to music, they felt better, and their studies improved. This is an example of a life tweak, which added some icing to the cake and made life as a whole, taste better. Even geeks can have a creative side which needs expressed.

But it may be that we have forced ourselves so far down a particular direction that there is no escape. We start to identify as a banker, a lawyer, a professor or a monk. But rather than this being our calling, our vocation, we are doing it because it seemed like a good idea at the time or for some other motivation, which may be to show off or appease parents. By the time we have a mortgage and 2.2 children it may be too late, we are trapped in a life which we have forced on ourselves. We have taken our mental shoe-horn and forced our foot into a shoe that does not fit. It is no wonder that our foot is uncomfortable and rather than change shoes we put plasters on the blisters. We may find that we are prone to complaining about these shoes. They may look nice, but they are the wrong size. They may have an expensive brand and be luxurious in design, but if the shoe doesn’t fit we can’t travel far in it.

If we pursue a general life-direction that is wrong with us our Soul may pull the plug, a nervous breakdown results. There is a conflict between our Soul and our will with all its investment. “You will be a banker, a lawyer, or else!” “No, this is not really for me!” If this “war” rages, we can become very ill indeed.

If you think carefully I have just outlined a new way of looking at some nervous breakdowns which may resonate partially with some who have had such a liberating experience.

One of the ways in which the Soul tries to get us “back on track” is by dramatizations of the Soul presented to us in dreams. By dreaming it suggests different things and changes our perspective. The Soul or Dreamer can become very insistent. There are many precedents for dreams and visions altering life directions and if one is exploratory in nature one might do something as seemingly absurd as follow our dreams. Here I mean real dreams and not self-generated ambitions which are often dressed as “dreams”. Our nocturnal dreams can be very vivid and if we have had a “whopper” of a dream we know. There is no denying it. These dramatizations of the Soul differ markedly from more mundane “psychological” dreams. They may even be reoccurring. They are our Soul trying desperately to get through to us, “listen buddy, this is what you need to be doing!”. In them we may see people who could help us, and/or alternate visions for our lives. It may seem uncomfortable to say to someone, “I had a dream with you in it last night” {especially if you are British} If this is true and not a chat-up line, what is so very wrong with this? Working with these dramatizations of the Soul is to start to cooperate at the Soular level and not the level of the often-petty self.

To get our lives back on track is not quite as straightforward as it might seem. There is a lot of resistance from the designer shoe, our foot is stuck therein in and is not easy to extract. It is not so nice to die of blisters. Sometimes it feels great to walk barefoot amongst the fresh grass of our fate, there may be thorns but that grass, it feels splendid between the toes.

Having cued this up:

How well does the current shoe of my life fit?

Does my life need a few tweaks or wholesale change?

Have I ever had a “whopper” of a dream?

If so, can I remember it now?

What if anything did I do about it?