Final reminder: Tones

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The Sign I Have Been Waiting For?

Now that dream was not an echo…

You can’t talk to dolphins in an echo…

Throughout the blog there is mention of start-ups and VCs, which might seem at odds. But the prime motivation for me was always about raising some stake money. It was never about getting rich. Even way back, this was the idea.

I would make an exit with enough money to start a centre. I am good at organisation and logistics, so this would be easy for me. Even in the dreaming there is practicality.

There is plenty of money for new electronic gizmos, less for experimental retreat centres.

This notion has come back today.

Maybe this is the sign I have been waiting for in regard of remainder of earthly sojourn…


Dealing with Echoes

The web of life has to it possibilities, some are yet to be and nascent, others are by way of echoes or ghost possibilities. These are the possibilities which might have happened but did not. Some of these echoes have a marked longevity and one can tap into them until such time as they are fully damped and faded. Maybe you have experienced one of these echoes of what might have been? They sometimes come to us in dreams. They relate to a fate which might but did not. They have a ghostly nebulous quality, which can “haunt” the mind a little. One cannot ever materialise an echo.

As things stand I cannot envisage ever going into London again. Well maybe a visit to the opera, but that is about it.

That dream feels like one such echo-possibility. There have been many of these. Once the aperture in space-time has passed it closes and all one can hear is the echo of the door.


Life in the Cave

Here in my “yogi’s cave” life goes on, pretty much as usual. Only it isn’t a cave, it is a farmworker’s cottage. It has internet, a phone line but no central heating. An estate agent might say that it is in need of refurbishment. Today it is cold and windy, here on the hill it is always a few degrees colder than in town.

On average I get less than one text message per week, and at most one email which I need to respond to. Every now and then ResearchGate sends me a message to let me know that one of my co-authors from the past has published a paper, or that someone I cited or who cited me, has done the same. I haven’t had a social ‘phone call in over three years, maybe more. On average about once a fortnight I have to deal with some utility either by ‘phone or email. So, the ‘phone doesn’t get used.  We go to Aikido weekly. And on a daily basis I pop into town where I exchange a few words with the shop assistants and coffee shop servers. Apart from the wife and the people at the dojo, I speak with nobody. That is apart from my only monthly tutorial student. Very occasionally I speak to a lost, usually Eastern European delivery driver, to give them directions.

So, although it isn’t a real yogi’s cave I am pretty isolated and cut off from the world.

What goes on in the outside world is whatever is going on there. I am cut off from the outside world. I can read newspapers and watch TV. And that is about it.

It is pretty tranquil…


Battle Scars

My first ever selfie taken in 2007 after I had a basal cell carcinoma removed. I gave a transferable skills course whilst looking like this.

Later in 2007 after I had another basal cell carcinoma removed. It is easy to get a seat on the train all to yourself when you look like this.

And from July 2015 after I had a T3 colon cancer removed along with a length of sigmoid colon.


I am going to start in on this topic and see what it evolves into.

Way back when I was involved in a start-up it seemed a good idea to start looking into this strange thing that we might call leadership. So, I read around, a lot. There are many different types of leadership and even though I am not currently doing anything I still have some latent leadership potential. One of the oft cited aspects of leadership is reflective learning, that is one must reflect on what goes on in order to understand better and evolve. My strengths lie perhaps in strategy development and short bursts of leadership, they are also in the area of breaking new ground. They most definitely are not in the area of organisational leadership, principally because I lack the interest in and skill for, socio-political conniving. I am not extrovert and have a dislike for chit-chat and bullshitting. I cannot be bothered with the maintenance of large networks. What I can do is focus. There is still a part of me which might encourage people to head off into the unknown and do crazy shit. I am not afraid of looking stupid and will go, to an extent, where angels fear to tread. This can encourage others so to do.

At the moment because of many factors, I am discouraged, no demotivated is a better word.

I have started up quite a number of things and introduced some novelty. Beginnings are more interesting than endings and repetition is a bit tiring. My numerology suggests that my final pinnacle is a one, which is the prow of the boat, so that being true I will of necessity come up against this notion of leadership. I am still trying to figure out what to do with the remainder of my earthly sojourn.

Leadership is distinct from management though the two are often mistaken. In my mind the leader is point, they go first and set the tone. They break the ice. Others bring people together and are cohesive. I think that I am probably at the exploratory end rather than the social-cohesion end. Only an idiot would write a business plan and then go and seek big bucks venture capital funding.

A strange thing this notion of leadership.

Having cued this up:

What leadership qualities do you have?

In what ways and under which circumstances have you provided a lead?

What does leadership mean to you?