Do you think it fair to say that some have more of a controlling bent than others?
There are the expressions “control junkie” and “control freak” which are in common parlance. Some people need to have the illusion that they are in control of their lives, so they seek to administer this control, sometimes to force it. They don’t like it when things do not go according to their will or their suppositions about how things are meant to pan out. It is possible to control certain aspects, but not others and certainly not everything. Some therefore seek to have life on their own terms, terms which they alone dictate. They may boss others around and otherwise manipulate them to fit with THE plan, which really means their plan. When things don’t fit impatience and frustration can follow. An unmet ambition can piss certain types of people off and in a major way.
The thing is at least to my experience, life has a few surprises up its sleeves. From time to time it lays down a joker or throws a curve ball. When this happens, you have two basic options; throw a hissy fit and freak out or go with the flow, man. This loss of imagined control can be very unsettling. Many try to micro-manage their entire lives, which must be exhausting.
There are some things which are beyond our control, our direct personal influence. No matter how impatient we get they simply are not tractable to our efforts. The more we try to bring them under our control the more frustrated we become. We might adopt an ʾIn shāʾa llāh attitude, but we cannot leave everything up to another being, we have to do somethings, to give God something to work with so to speak.
There is a balance in doing what we are realistically able to do and that which is beyond our influence and capabilities. I am going to start into this theme a little.
Having cued this up here are some questions:
On the scale of totally laid back and going with the flow to an out-and-out control freak, where do I find myself?
Am I to the left, to the right or somewhere in the middle?
Where would others put me on this scale?
In reality, do I have both tendencies which surface according to circumstance?