Five “Fishes”

Well the dreaming continues a little. After that official STICK and carrot email, it looks like I am going to have to find something else to read on the loo. What it reminded me of was not quite its intention. That world where you have to threaten and cajole, seems a distant one.

Anyway, in town, on the usually immaculate pavement in front of the supermarket, my eye was drawn to a blue chalk figure, probably drawn by a child. It was of a smiling whale complete with water spout; a blue whale. Near it also in blue was a small smiley fish. Next to that in white was what looked to be a shark, also with a grin on. Yet further there was a white whale and another smaller fish.

Five is the need for freedom and change

Fish is awareness, state of awareness or need to be wide awake.

Blue is humility and understanding

White is need for peace

2 is humility and understanding need for or a symbol of destiny

3 is need for creativity and joy / mixed abundance

A little later I had a little trouble finding my car in the car park. I found it quite quickly.

Car is state of awareness, or level or perception.

This is telling me something and is linked to the dream of this morning.

Ashram-Retreat Centre Dream 210218

Here is this morning’s dream:

I arrive at a large building on multiple levels which backs directly onto the sea. The shore is rocky but not too step. It has many rooms which are like warm rounded caves and are decked out in “ethnic” fabrics and furniture.

Soon various people start arriving. They are of all ages and some with children. The rooms are all open, without doors, yet still afford some privacy, they feed into one another. This is to be the retreat centre it has an ethos of non-denominational, discursive-ness and openness. It is to be themed around dreaming. There is a slight yet noticeable “hippie” vibe. Whilst it is not yet an Ashram, it has the potential so to be.

People are gathering around, and we are expecting a visit from a lama Y. together with his entourage. They tip up and take the tour. We are sat in one of the larger rooms and I show him an “ethnic” carved figure of a deer. He comments that although it is pretty the workmanship is not so good. I have sourced it at a local shop. After this I go to the shop and the owner agrees that the workmanship isn’t high quality. He says that he will send it back to his supplier and replace it for me. He thanks me for bringing it to his attention.

As lama Y. is leaving he asks me what it is all about.

I say; “Dreaming is dreaming, and it will work itself out.”

From the house we can see all the children playing in the glass-sided infinity pool which is tidal.

I go down to the inlet by the sea. There we can see fish swimming in the creek. We can discern amongst them 3-4 dolphins. This causes much excitement. I whistle to the dolphins and they swim in closer to us. When one of the dolphins gets close it morphs into a dolphin-man. He gets out of the water and onto the stone jetty we are sitting on. He says, “Praxes” and I ask him if he is Greek. He replies in perfect English that he is and that he and his friends run a local taxi business.

I ask him for some business cards which we can put up on the notice board for the guests. He hands me some of these and then dives back into the water. The dolphins swim off.

Two Americans have come to visit, they are a female and a male. The woman has a “hippie” vibe and the man is an “astronaut” with short hair.  He is unconvinced. He proceeds to wander off to check out the organisation, sceptical.

Dressed now in my yukata I ask the woman if they need some sunscreen. It can be deceptive around here, the amount of sun. The woman thanks me but does not think it is needed. I say that the offer remains open.    

Back now in the main room of the centre many of us are gathered. We look out to the sea and cannot tell if the tide is out or not. I say that we need to install a tidal monitor, which I will do later.

Now we have to decide more about the retreat centre, what it will do and how it will work.

Dream ends


praxis (ˈpræksɪs)

n, pl praxises or praxes (ˈpræksiːz)

  1. (Education) the practice and practical side of a profession or field of study, as opposed to the theory
  2. (Education) a practical exercise
  3. accepted practice or custom

[C16: via Medieval Latin from Greek: deed, action, from prassein to do]

what dreams may come

It is one of those hot, balmy, end of summer nights. You are dressed in white linen. The sun is low on the horizon and in the process of beginning to set. The sky is starting to pink just a little. There are a few wispy clouds. You are in a vast field of ripened wheat, the heads of the wheat are curled over and near ready for harvest. You are carefree, no-one is watching. You allow your left hand to fall to your side to touch the wheat, strolling through the field allowing your fingers to touch what one day, will become bread. The feeling of lightness and joy is upon you. All the stress has gone from you, you feel young again as you stroll through the wheat field. You come upon a tall dry stone wall and start to explore. You run your fingers over the stone, it is much taller than you. You notice that the sun is now setting and you must go home. Because you have loved the field so much you resolve to come here again at dawn.

It is now just after dawn, and you are back in the field. The air is as crisp as apples and there is a faint dew on the wheat, again you allow your left hand to caress the wheat as you meander through the field. Your eyes are bright and alive. As you approach the wall you wonder what lies beyond it. You follow the wall round to your left touching the sometimes mossy stones with your finger tips. Soon you come upon an archway in the wall. It is taller than you and there is an old wooden door there. There is a metal ring painted in black enamel which you know will open the door. Slowly you reach down and raise the lever. The door opens before you. In front of you, you can see an exquisitely manicured rose garden. The scent wafts over you enticingly. You step forward into the Southern Precinct of the Toltec Temple. There are bed after bed of the most exquisite roses, the scent is overwhelming. In the near distance you can hear the soft gurgle of a fountain. Here in a sunken part of the garden the fountain is surrounded by stone benches, roughly hewn. You sit and open up your ears to the fountain.

When the utter serenity of the place has begun to deeply imbue you, you decide to explore further. A little in the distance you can see a man working in the rose bed. Today he is tending the yellow roses, turning over the earth and whispering to the roses. As you approach he winks at you. He is the venerable gardener, master of the Southern Precinct. He has a gift for you. He hands to you a single yellow rose of considerable beauty. He has cut it just now. The cut on the stem is diagonal and perfect. The leaves are dark, dark green and lustrous. The rose itself is of such vibrancy, never have you seen yellow such as this. The flower head is only partially open and the swirl of the petals overlaps in a radial display. The scent is heady.

Taking this single rose you walk along the gravel path to a building which lies ahead. You know this to be an annexe of the great Toltec Temple. As you approach you can see an arched doorway carved in stone. The doors are open and beckon you in. As you pass within you are almost overcome by the sensation of utter silence. You walk upon the black and white marble floor sensing the aeons of its construct. Ahead of you in the Eastern corner is a white marble slab. It is lit by the light of dawn issuing sunbeams onto the altar. You approach the altar and genuflect, cradling the rose in your hands. You lean forward to place it within the sunbeams on the marble slab. As you do so a single drop of dew rolls out of the rose onto the marble slab. A single tear trickles out of your left eye at the same time. You feel it wind down your cheek. It drops onto the altar and merges with the dew. You know that soon you will be home.

Rising now you nod your head and retrace your steps out of the annexe, along the gravel path. The venerable gardener has disappeared. You walk past the fountain and out of the archway. Slowly you close the door.  You are now again in the field of wheat, you trail both hands through it, feeling such a sensation of utter poignancy as you have never had before; somehow though you KNOW this feeling only too well.

Left Side Awareness and High Adventure

If you read Dr Castaneda’s books you will notice that they are more than a little trippy. There are bits that are coherent and bits that aren’t. He speaks of a whole bunch of stuff that is far out man. Now this kind of stuff can be very exciting to certain types of people and they may seek to replicate it. If you have an intention for the weird and the wonderful you are actively intending it to happen. If you are after magical powers, you are looking for some kind of short cut maybe seeking to compensate for a lack of “power” you perceive. I have some shamanic experience and the states accessed in shamanic workings can be pretty strange. From my research into this kind of stuff, they pertain to what may be called the astral or emotional plane. Weird shit can happen and by and large it is a distraction and not really of a great deal of use. It might be fun or downright scary, whatever lights your candle. Once you start to “soften” the common dream, you lose its integrated interpretation of “the world”. Behind that are many other possible “worlds”. When one world goes, you no longer have a basis for coherently interpreting what may be transpiring. This can make you shit bricks. The thing is indulging in astral plane stuff, is basically wasting time, no matter what high adventures you may have along the way. It has glamour and illusion. It might sound all cool and something that you can impress the chicks with around the campfire, astral stuff it remains. There are things of use, but they are few and far between. If you are going to explore, you need to be anchored, you must have ball of string to lead you out of the maze, otherwise there you can remain.

If you start to play with the “medicine” points of the physical body as used in acupuncture, Ayurveda, or these kind of systems, it can effect. These effects are twofold one in mind other in “bodies”. Again, this can be distracting. Some are healers, others not. People like phenomena because this can be exciting. But indulging in phenomena is indulging in phenomena, it is not liberation. Astral stuff is old, and it should be left to fade away, naturally. Farting about with it gives it an unwarranted longevity. If you need to deal with astral stuff, it will make its presence known, you do not need to go looking for it. The Path of High Adventure probably needs to go, to fade.

The best way to approach left side awareness is to start close to “normal” awareness. This happens in the zone of an elite sportsman, the combat awareness of the soldier and in the sometime meditative atmosphere of a good dojo. There adjunct to the normal is the heightened. And until you have trained this, you don’t know. In all these cases there is a ball of string back to the day to day. The trouble is if you spend too long in heightened awareness as a soldier might, you can miss it. I certainly would not wish to be hunted by a highly skilled soldier in a forest at night. What I am suggesting is going out of the comfort zone but not completely out of depth. If you are bricking it, you cannot learn because you are so busy bricking it, that is all you see.

To my experience dreaming, is a form of meditation, hence we have dreaming practice. One can loosen the common dream and in the crack between “worlds”, learn. I am not talking about the energy body, the dreaming body or anything of that ilk. I am talking about a heightening awareness which goes past the mundane. Be aware indulging is indulging, period. The most important tool is a good ball of string, the length of which can increase with time.

Are You Awake or Dreaming?

I guess that if you are reading this you might allege that you are awake. But how can you be so sure? You may be caught fast in the common dream and be a part of one of its sub-plots. You might imagine that the “reality” in which you live is actually real. We could discuss what awake means. And in that world, there are exhortations to follow your dreams, but in that context, it means ambitions and not night-time dreams. There is a line of thought which suggests that we all dream every night, we do not all recall our dreams nor are we always conscious when we are dreaming at night that we are dreaming. This is because some nocturnal dreams can seem very real. How do you know that this is not what is happening now, that you may be dreaming you are reading a blog? Where is the line between awake and dreaming? Who can say?

I’ll hazard a guess that most of us have had a least one humdinger of a dream, a really gripping one of either light or dark shade. Maybe we can recall these when we are “awake”. Once we have had the dream we cannot go back to before we have had it, whether we like it or not, it has changed us in some way. Some are prone to nightmares, others not. We all have a nocturnal dream-life of some kind or other. We may deliberately try to suppress this or actively encourage it. In our dreams we may revisit the stresses of the day, but this kind of dream isn’t usually a humdinger. I’ll confess I am a dreamer by predilection. I have collected dreams now for ~ 18 years, a few of them are on the blog.

Our dreams can provide us guidance for what we need to do in life and if we use this, we literally follow our dreams. This is distinct from ambitions. Some dreams particularly the recurring or nightmarish dreams, point at some stuff we have to be getting on with, now.

If people we know appear in our dreams, it may be that we have something unresolved in respect of that person. Or they could be a dream-walker, walking the cusp of the dream at night. It depends. Maybe I have walked into one of your dreams? Who can say?

I am changing tack. Have a think about this, right now, are you awake or are you dreaming?