We all have opinions. I suspect that many of us have opinions about how other people might fix their lives, what it is they need to do and some of us interfere. Being fixed up on a blind date might lead someone to marry a prince after all. What others should do and how they ought to behave, isn’t an uncommon topic of conversation. This tendency to be a busybody, whether active or passive, runs through society. And many feel the urge to give advice even if that advice isn’t asked for. We can inflict that advice on others. In a sense it could be said that I am doing this. I can justify my behaviour because it is so easy to click away. I am not forcing my views on anyone. They can come and go as they please.
I used to have a role giving “advice” way back and I even did courses on personal development. I have stopped doing the latter and no longer have that role. Unsolicited advice is generally unwelcome. There has to be some kind of need and willingness before advice is sought. It is a funny thing this giving advice but many of us do it. Others seek advice so as to argue with it, it is a kind of game. Many enjoy dabbling in the affairs of others, we have The Busybody Distraction. It can distract us from what is going on in our own lives and trying to fix others can be a pass time. Others like to save people from themselves. There is a fine line between help and over evangelism.
The best way I have found to reconcile this is summed up in this phrase, “respect the journey of others.”
This is so much more empowering than playing the busybody, in the long run. If someone is hell-bent on a particular direction, let them find out for themselves. It is related to an Aikido principle of getting out of the way of someone rather than fighting. It is not contending. There is quite enough contention in the world already. Many expect contention because they are contentious. Each being has their own journey.
Few are ready to acknowledge that The Busybody Distraction is just that. The world is a better place once we have opined. Herein lies a treasure. The advice we give to others will in some way apply to ourselves, not always but often.
How we use our time is a matter for each of us. I’ll hypothesise that the time we spend in The Busybody Distraction, might be better used in evolving ourselves. Being a busybody requires intelligence gathering or stalking and usually some gossiping. Neither of which are life enhancing, really.
Here are some questions pertaining:
How much time to I devote to The Busybody Distraction?
Am I prone to giving advice to others?
Do I respect the journey of others or can I simply not resist the temptation to interfere?