Was so complete
That some among you
Thought to keep
A record of
Our little lives
This song has been playing in my head, on and off, since we started watching the second series of True Detective and it speaks to me. It says many things.
Over the course of my life I have perceived, on very many occasions, that certain individuals have wanted to “beat” me in some way or another. It has become personal and they want to score points, “win”, get one over on me, and even destroy me. Just so long as they come up “victor” and I come out the “vanquished”. I have looked at this in a detached way and insofar as I can tell my perceptions were and are accurate in this respect. And in many cases, they have had their victory. As a consequence, I am now powerless, there is virtually nothing I can do on the physical plane and even were there, I am now disinclined. Many of these situations were very petty.
How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.
I am not a big fan of contention. I am even less of a fan of bickering, squabbling and arguing the toss for the sake of the toss. I am not fond of “tossers”. I know I should be compassionate to all beings but hey, I am not perfect. As a rule of thumb, I walk away.
I suspect that in many cases these individuals were fighting entirely the wrong battle. Instead of looking at themselves they sought to have a go at me. Maybe I was, at least temporarily, enemy #1 in their eyes, minds and hearts. Angry people don’t see so good. They can damage that which they need.
Having cued this up:
Have I ever wanted badly to “beat” another being?
Did this desire, to an extent, consume me?
Was I satisfied when I won?
Is there a nanoparticle of chance that I was fighting entirely the wrong battle?